My sister tells lies about me

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Since you were very little you have been waiting for your narcissistic sister often the Golden One to love you. Time after time you appealed to her humanity for kindness, respect and consideration. You discovered repeatedly that your narcissistic sister returned your yearning and wishes with cruelty, lying and cold betrayals. You were hurt too many times to count. You cried and cried. No one came to comfort you. This is especially the case if narcissistic mother and daughter were psychologically fused with one another. They were an inseparable team. You were never allowed to get between them to get your essential psychological and emotional needs. There is something about the human being that keeps us going back to the person who has hurt us to believe that if we make the effort, the next time will be different. You remember trying to make up with your sister. You started to believe that you were at fault, that something was intrinsically the matter with you. Being innocent you shared your secrets with this sister only to discover that she betrayed your trust and told your deepest thoughts and feelings to your narcissistic mother. You heard them laughing at you, deriding you. It can take a very long time to recognize that your sister is a narcissist and that she is not going to change—ever. This is a fixed personality disorder that features defense mechanisms that are like impenetrable steel. With the narcissistic sister there is no empathy, warmth, concern for your welfare, kindness or compassion. Once you have researched and understand that your sister is a narcissistic personality, you realize that you are not and never were to blame for her cruel betrayals and psychological and emotional abuse. Having this knowledge is powerful and will propel you toward recovery and rediscovery of your true self. You deserve to lead a life that is fulfilling, that provides you with inner peace, continued healing and the full use of your many creative gifts. Indeed it takes so long to accept that the older sister is a narcissist and, is never going to change. Only her tactics change as she may adapt to the changes and growth she resents her victim making; healing to survive and understand the narcissists stealth and abuse. The tools for growth and transformation are ours for the taking…seek and we shall find, knock and Truth reveals itself, though not in expected ways. An abundance of miracles when we find our authentic belief system, that is, to be your self. Thank you so much for the post. I was abused years I only recently realised my brothers have a narcissistic personality disorder. I have East-Asian Confucian background and it makes me doubly hard to cope. I suspect they learned narcissistic traits then. Then, when I turned 9 my brothers were 13 and 15we all united and started living together; the beginning of my hardship. Coupled with Confucian culture in Asia ruled by male gender and seniororityall responsibilities of housework fell on me, the youngest daughter of the family. Soon after I got my degree, I left home and have been living an independent life, and got married to a Western man, thinking I could put all my hardship in the past. My brothers treat me as well as my husband poorly out of jealousyalthough we enjoy a better social status. Any recommended strategy, please? I just want to be left alone. My brothers and I are way too different to communicate. So, no need to be upset about me not seeing them. So, I hope they have absolutely no expectations on me, either. I know my sister-in-law can be a good listener. What do you suggest?

How to deal with a sister-in-law that lies about me?

This is the time when you need to surround yourself with an imaginary white bubble to ward off any negative energy that could find its way to you during this difficult time. Narcissists are masterful liars. They are brazen and glib with their lies. Clever narcissists get away with their mendacity because it is second nature to them. They cut their teeth on learning how to lie by omission or commission. When most of us lie, we squirm. The narcissist luxuriates in the lies that he uses to defeat his personal and professional opponents. Since he or she does not have a developed conscience, a lie here and there is an advantage to reaching his goal faster than anyone else. Narcissistic lying becomes very ugly during the divorce process. The narcissist often spreads rumors about his former partner that are outrageous, damaging and completely untrue. Because his powers of persuasion are so highly developed many narcissists convince others that their spouse is to blame for all the chaos caused by the divorce. I have had non narcissistic spouses tell me that their narcissistic partner told large numbers of their acquaintances and family members that his husband or wife was mentally unstable, alcoholic, a drug addict, an irresponsible parent who was incapable of taking care of their children, promiscuous—the cruel litany of accusations and fabrications is endless. The narcissist is very believable to most people. To prevail psychologically and emotionally when a narcissist is off on one of his missions to tear you down, flex your muscles, recognize your strength and integrity to defeat this coward, turn to a small group of close friends worthy of your trust and discuss this matter with your therapist and the attorney who is representing you. It is vital that you be legally represented by an attorney who is highly experienced and sophisticated in dealing with these highly manipulative and exploitive individuals in the thickets of domestic issues. Draw on all of your strengths. You will be surprised at the resources you have access to deep inside that have remained dormant. Bring them out of the shadows, dust them off, shine them up and look forward to victory. Includes expert advice and tips for encouragement and support. Now check your email to confirm your spot in the mini-course and get your Beginner's Healing Toolkit now! Adobe Reader is required as this is a PDF document. Check the bottom of your screen for an instant download or your downloads folder! Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. In my case my reputation has been affected by the things that you mention in this post. The smear campaign has been horrific. And here is the irony — the smear campaign has been based on the notion that I was the one who was an evil manipulative narcissist. I have been shunned by friends, family mostly hers but still upsetting. And I am no teenager older than Losing someone was bad enough, but to have this on top has been horrific. I have been dealing with a megalomaniac wife with NPD for nearly three years, and the endless selfishness, lying about me and others, mean-spirited words towards anybody who disagrees with her, etc. The hardest part might just be when she is able to portray herself to others as a victim — she is clearly the predator. I still pray for God to help us. I am Kept finances separate he hated that but I was not prepared for the immense damage he was capable of dishing out.

how do I deal with lying sister-in-law?

My sister in law lies constantly, she is a very jealous person who thinks she is perfect but in reality her life is not and this is why I think she sets about to try and destroy happy people who have happy lives, so she can feel better. She is now the black sheep of our family. She is married to my husband's brother, who has chosen to believe her lies that I am the problem and so has shut himself off from the rest of the family. Even his parents who did nothing to them, but for some reason they think that they have taken our side so they are in the poo too. They are even not allowing their children to visit their grandparents. My sister in law believes that she is totally innocent for some reason, but she made some very serious allegations about my family and will not even apologize and then tells her husband that she is trying to do everything she can to get things back on track, but she is only concentrating on making things worse. Does anyone have any ideas of what I should do. They are still in denial over this I tried to the tell the bil a truth that I thought that he should know so I am not the devil woman and that he may have some idea of what is actually going on as she has been lying to him as well and he wasn't interested in what I was saying he just sat there and told us what he wanted to say and we weren't allowed to say anything. He couldn't even look us in the face and just fidgeted. Is this an omission of guilt. Your sister-in-law sounds like she could be really insecure to start doing things like this. I have seen that happen before, seemed to be for those reasons. It is really sad that she is like that and not letting the kids see their grandparents. I think restricting your dealings with her to when there are witnesses might be one way to limit her opportunities to lie about you. Don't tell her too much about what you are doing, keep conversations about other things than what family members are doing. Also, if you are not able to see the kids, make sure that you send them birthday presents and call them on their birthday and Christmas. Not sure you can help her unless she wants to be helped. If your brother-in-law goes along with it, there is not much you can do for him either I think. At least you can be there for your husband who is probably hurting a lot, and your in-laws. Try not to lose your temper with her or let her see she has had an effect - that sort of attention is what she is going to feed off. Good luck. At least you and your husband do not have that sort of life and relationship, that is something good in all of this sadness. Maybe things can get better, but if not, she can't change what you have and she doesn't with her scheming and lying. I don't speak or see mine sis in law anymore. I do see my brother separately, but I refuse to have anything to do with her. It's made holidays very difficult for my mom because she can't tolerate her either, but my mom takes her in small doses.

Why does my sister always talk bad about me to everyone she ...

Find a family buddy fast. Get a family member who is loyal to you and tell this person what is going on. Tell them that you ar enot out for blood, you just want things to be fair. Then go to your Sister-in-law with family memebr you trust and put it all ont he table. Specifically, how is she a SIL? This make a HUGE difference. Bring up some of the lies she say's about you in public in sort of a passive-aggressive way but don't create lies about her because you don't want to stoop down to her level. You are nice to her anyway,ask her why is she doing that kind of act to you. If she denies,find someone as a witness and try to resolve right away. Just be nice to her, don't tell her any secrets, and go on with life. Nobody believes liars. She is trying to turn everyone against me, when I am nice to her anyway. Answer Save. Koria Lv 5. Source s : I have a SIL my bro's wife who is rude to my wife. I don't tolerate it and I have no communication with any sibling or parent who does. How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer. Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.


Which detail from Heart of Darkness shows the ineffectiveness of the colonizers. What is the answer to this logical question pumara ako sumakay ako umupo ako sumandal ako bumaba ako anong dala ko? All Rights Reserved. The material on this site can not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with prior written permission of Multiply. Hottest Questions. Previously Viewed. Unanswered Questions. Mental Health. Human Behavior. My sister lies about me a lot. Wiki User Ask the people she is lying to about you if they will give a short affidavit stating the same - you may have a case for slander, which in some states actually falls under stalking laws. I know what you're going through because my sister did the same to me - said that my husband cheated, that I had bi-polar syndrome, et. When I had heard these things from five other people, I sent her the letter. I even volunteered to allow her to pick a psychiatrist of her choice to diagnosis my "bi-polar" problem and asked her to give details about my husband's alleged "affairs. She not only lies about me but lies about and to everyone. My family believes she is addicted to lying - in essence, it makes her feel good for the second she tells it. The problem is that she forgets what lies she actually tells from day to day and on top of that, will deny she told the first lie. If you threaten her with the truth, she will cut you off and then proceed to get back at you with, lo and behold, more lies. My sister has written a letter to my other sister with a lot of lies about me. She has been telling these lies for over twenty years, these lies have caused me untold anguish, has alienated my two oldest sons. I believe these lies may have had something to do with my husband being shot to death by my nephew. This happened over twenty years ago.

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