- Clean One Liner Puns
- Funny Father of the Bride Speeches
- Wedding Toasts
- Step away from the wedding hashtag generator and try these 10 tips instead
- 10 Marriage Puns That Are Bound To Get A Good Reception
Clean One Liner PunsLike everything about our weddings, we want it to be perfect: and the little details like the hashtag make a huge difference. After all, how else will you show off how perfect your day was to all of your Instagram followers? Start with your names. If you love fruits, go for ThePerfectPear. Revel in the cringes. This day is all about you. An old co-worker of mine just got married and had this same dilemma. Think of your favorite songs, or start with popular phrases, such as KhantGetEnough. Jokes and references work best here too, like OneHalalofaWedding. Come up with your own new name together. Examples include Brangelina or Kimye. And there will be plenty of people celebrating everything your relationship has gone through. If you really want to take it up a notch, feature a special characteristic of yours, like EyebrowsAndVows. You might be able to add the year at the end and change the beginning — so HB, for example, or Zehyoue Then take it up a notch. I guarantee no one else will have something like WorbarWedding or GluedLegos. Love life in the limelight? Better make it as accessible as possible: if your wedding is based on a book or movie, build your hashtag around it. Lord knows our parents have given us nicknames, some of them ridiculous and embarrassing. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly.
Funny Father of the Bride Speeches
If you somehow found this page it's probably because you're trawling the internet looking for jokes to put in your wedding speech. I do not advertise this page. I do not link this page back to my main website. Well, to save you some of the hassle I have put together a pretty comprehensive list of wedding speech jokes. I add to it every couple of weeks or so. Most of them aren't great. And the good ones have already been used hundreds of times before. But hey, maybe it will give you a bit of inspiration! I help people all over the world by writing original speeches tailored just for their wedding. Good afternoon, Ladies and Gentleman. I don't believe in roasting the groom on his special day. Therefore this speech won't contain anything controversial or embarrassing about Paul. Instead I'll refer only to the pleasant, loving side of his character. Thank you and goodnight. Sit down. Paul is always thinking of others, an attribute welcomed by Linda in every place except the bedroom. Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen. Therefore please spare a thought and try not to clap and yelp too loudly during my speech, however tempting that might be. Before I start ladies and gentlemen, let us observe a few moments silence in memory of the 3, prawns, chickens, countless carnations, delphiniums, lilies and roses who selflessly gave their lives to make this wedding celebration possible. I will admit to you that I am slightly nervous making this speech in front of all these people. All day people have been coming up to me and wishing me luck.
We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies. This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote. You must be a registered user to submit a joke. You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process. A little boy at a wedding, looks at his mom and says, "Mommy, why does the girl wear white? A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke. A husband should never question his wife's judgement. Look who she married! A lifetime in snooker my dearest, it's happened to you, so don't forget to chalk his cue and the first game you play make sure it's at the end of the day. A man is as good as he has to be; a woman as bad as she dares. A man needs a mistress, just to break the monogamy. A wedding is a funeral where a man smells his own flowers. A wedding ring is like a tourniquet; it cuts off your circulation. Advice to submariners: If torpedo overheats, load tube, go deep and eject. Advice to the new bride: You can't be treated like a doormat if you don't lie down. Advice to the new bride: Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near. Two bits of advice to the new bride: One, tell your new husband that you have to have one night a week out with the girls, and, two, don't waste that night with the girls. After a moment of quite repose it's tum to tum and toes to toes after a moment of sheer delight It's back to back for the rest of the night. All marriages are happy; it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems. All men are born free and equal, but then lots of them grow up and get married. Always talk to your wife while you're making love The story of the man who called his son Vendetta, because he always had it in for him And I shall love thee still my dear, until my wife is wise. Anybody who claims that marriage is a fifty-fifty proposition doesn't know the first thing about women or fractions. As she hears the wedding march, three things are foremost in a bride's mind: aisle, altar, hymn. As you slide down the banister of life, may all the marital splinters be pointed in the right direction. Be sure to tie your nightie to your toes, 'cos you know where the wild goose goes. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent. Bride, at wedding: Ever since I was a little girl, I've always wanted a prick like my mother's. Confucius say man who sink into woman's arms soon have arms in woman's sink. Confucius say wife for life is better than wife for strife. Congratulations, rots of ruck, sideways is great.
Step away from the wedding hashtag generator and try these 10 tips instead
Follow the Priest After the blessing the priest said to the newly married couple, 'follow me up to the altar'. When the priest reached the inner sanctum he turned around, and was amazed to see the bride and groom crawling to the altar on their knees. There are stories on this page for everyone. Whatever the bride and groom's circumstances an MC master of ceremonies is sure to find a funny wedding speech joke here. Are you crazy? Rupert and Elaine, young couple, got married and went happily on their honeymoon. When they got back, Elaine immediately 'phoned her mother and her mother obviously asked, 'How was the honeymoon, dearest? Then Elaine burst out crying. I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home Please Ma. What 4-letter words? Buy your Joke Book here! Molly and Peter have been married for almost 48 years and have raised a brood of 12 children and are blessed with 23 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, Molly replies, 'Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids. Eventually the conversation moved on to their wives. One bloke turned to the guy on his right and asked, 'Eh, Alan, aren't you and your lass celebrating your fiftieth wedding anniversary soon? Alan pondered this for a moment, then replied, 'For our twenty-fifth anniversary, I took Hazel to Sunderland. Maybe for our fiftieth, I'll go down there and get her back. You can't do that. Go ahead and tell her about it. Vicky, young single lady visits the local dating agency and explains, 'I'm looking for a husband. Can you please help me to find a suitable one? The dating receptionist needs to find out some details so she asks, 'What are your requirements, please? Willing accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hours, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest.