Freakazoid (character)Dexter Douglas had never seen so many colors in his entire life. In fact, he'd never heard so many colors either, but that was only because until now, he'd never heard colors before. He could hear them now though, and colors? They screamed. A violent rainbow of useless knowledge bombarded Dexter directly in the face, sparing no time in completely eviscerating his young mind with the entirety of human knowledge. And then some. Somewhere in the edges of his consciousness, Dexter registered the distinct feeling of something rustling about inside his head. It was kind of hard to concentrate on though, because he was currently too focused on the feeling of his skull ripping apart and fusing back together again. He could see everythingbut at the same time he was being blinded by a trillion different colorful images, and deafened by a zillion different sounds. Everything was happening at once and yet maybe nothing had ever happened before right now? Chubbikins screeched in an ungodly manner that would have shocked and appalled Dexter had he been anywhere near functioning at the moment. Thankfully, Dexter's own screams were drowning out all the other upsetting sounds like his scalding tea toppling over or the cat having its second conniption fit in the last 2 seconds this whole mess had begun. Now kids, when someone uses the phrase, "Deafening Silence" like I just did, it means that this silence is no ordinary, run-of-the-mill, dime-a-dozen silence! This silence is very special. An "advanced silence", if you will. When someone, like me, uses the phrase, "Deafening Silence" that means the sounds that came before the silence were some pretty loud noise making! Like, I'm talking some serious cacophony must've been happening to make the silence itself, deafening. What Dexter Douglas experienced that fateful day, alone with nothing but a cup of tea and a chubby fat cat, was probably the best example of deafening silence in human history. Dexter sat is shock for a moment, eyes staring unseeing at his warm, black computer monitor, his mind for this last, blissful moment, completely blank. An electric current mercilessly shocked them silly, knocking it's victim clean to the back wall of Dexter's room. Their form slumped against Dexter's bookshelf for a moment, clothes worryingly burnt and torn. Chubbikins, who had wisely crawled under Dexter's desk after their second fit, watched the still figure in silence for a moment, before slowly stalking towards them and giving them a cautionary sniff. The disturbingly enthusiastic stranger flipped onto their feet, shaky hands running through static heavy black hair. Wide bloodshot eyes and an even wider smile stretched across a scratched up, excited face. As Dexter's glasses slipped down the strangers nose, their fidgety hands took turns between patting themself down, pulling at their wild hair, and adjusting and re-adjusting Dexter's glasses. As their eyes greedily took in all their surroundings, well defined muscles rippled and twitched with barely restrained energy. Their skin was blue. Chubbikins froze in shock, or at least the cat equivalent of human shock, and lowered in some vain attempt to not catch the manic stranger's attention. Thankfully, the stranger was a bit occupied with other things. Chubbikins took this opportunity to attempt escape and took a hesitant step backwards, but to no avail. Chubbikins, officially frozen in fear, or some cat equivalent to human fear, made no response. The stranger seemed to have the attention span of a hamster on speed, and so suddenly stood and took on a thoughtful expression. As the stranger thought for a moment about their intended victim, a spark suddenly shot up the strangers side, and in a whirlwind of nonsense, Dexter Douglas stood, disheveled, and afraid. Dexter clapped a hand to his head in fear, yet no sooner had he said those words then another array of sparks shot up his sides and in yet another whirlwind of spinningness, there again stood the energetic stranger. And apparently, he knew who he needed to punch! The stranger squished their cheeks in excitement and ran to Dexter's door, yanking it open despite the lock, and waltzing into the sane world with little regard to their disruptive existence.
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Despite being in his favorite class Science would always have a special place in his heart after his teacher set the floor on fire on the first day of school to demonstrate the Leidenfrost effect and knowing it was less than five minutes till the bell rang and school was out, he was about 43 seconds away from a total meltdown. His day had started normally enough. Duncan, his older brother, had elbowed him in the hallway when their Mom had announced she was making pancakes. Dexter's Dad hadn't looked up from the morning paper while he'd told Duncan to stop kicking his brother from under the table, and Dexter had been subject to teasing and name calling from said brotherly nuisance the entire bus ride to school. All in all, a typical day in the life of Dexter Douglas. Things had only started to really go downhill during gym class, which wouldn't have been surprising under normal circumstance, but today was a very unpleasant exception. You see, Dexter Douglas was what one might call a nerd. You know, like an actually intelligent person who also might have a slight obsession with comics, cartoons, and staying informed on current events. Despite what the media may tell you, being into Star Wars and Anime wasn't something people really got much flack about, in fact, it usually ended up making you more friends. In reality, the kids who get bullied are usually the type of people who point out that trying to look up girls skirts on the stairs is "creepy" and "wrong", or that calling your fellow teammates "gay' for missing the basket was "kinds homophobic, guys". It was this last example that landed Dexter in hot water. While playing basketball with his more athletic teammates, Dexter had made the rookie mistake of pointing out casual homophobia while only 6 feet away from one of the most notorious Zero Tolerance enforcers in school, their gym teacher, Mrs. Everything else had gone downhill from there. After shrinking away from his teammates withering glares, Mrs. Running had stalked out from the shadows and taken their team aside for a "talk". Now, since this is your first offense, I'm going to be lenient with your punishment and only make you come to school tomorrow at 8 o'clock to help clean up around the gym. Unless you want detention. Running turned to an anxious looking Dexter and smiled in a way that was probably supposed to be seen as comforting. Dexter had watched in horror as the eyes of all his teammates had narrowed at him in sync, collectively attempting to bore holes straight through his skull for the rest of gym class. In an attempt to avoid any conflict, he'd stayed behind and put away basketballs as slowly as he possibly could, hoping that by the time he was finished the locker room would be empty. As he finally made his way to the locker room to change out of his gym clothes, he was unpleasantly surprised with what he found waiting for him. His teammates, along with some others he hadn't upset earlier, were gathered around his open locker and seemed to be rummaging around with his stuff. Before he could make a hasty retreat, his sneakers squeaked traitorously and Dexter froze as the group of jocks heads whipped around in unison. Hey Douglas. Feeling pretty good about yourself, huh? Jimmy Nasium stuffed Dexters things back into his locker as his posse blocked off the exit and circled Dexter threateningly. Now, thanks to you? I'm gonna be stuck cleaning up gym supplies! You know I was the one who was supposed to bring the beer?
Freakazoid is the titular protagonist of Warner Bros. Animation television series of the same name. He is a zany superhero who is the split personality of geeky year-old Dexter Douglas his true identity. Gaining his abilities from a computer bug that resulted in Dexter being absorbed into his computer and instantly gaining all the information on the Internet, he has enhanced strength and endurance, extraordinary speed, and agility, but also negligible amounts of sanity. These changes make Freakazoid a powerful and fearsome force for upholding freedom and righteousness, unless he gets distracted by something like a bear riding a motorcycle. On Christmas Eve, he received a computer chip known as the Pinnacle Chip that was intended to make his computer faster and more efficient. While he was looking for the instructions to how to work the chip, his cat, Mr. When Dexter saw this sequence he dismissed it as nothing more than a random code and tried to get rid of it by pressing the delete button. However, this set off a glitch in the Pinnacle Chip that gave Dexter all of the information on the Internet, enhanced strength, speed, and questionable sanity -- that is, he became the Freakazoid. He can toggle back and forth between his personalities by saying "Freak out" and "Freak in. Freakazoid was born on Christmas Day when Dexter Douglas entered a computer code by accident, activating a flaw in his brand new Pinnacle computer chip. He was suddenly zapped in the computer, where he absorbed the knowledge of the Internet and gained superpowers. His initial transformations were unstable and unpredictable, but Dexter soon learned that he could change into Freakazoid by saying "Freak out," and back to Dexter by saying "Freak in. Once Guitierrez learned of Freakazoid's existence, he captured Dexter and Roddy, hoping to harness the powers for himself. Freak was convinced by police sergeant Sergeant Mike Cosgrove to become a superhero to impress the ladies. Freakazoid subsequently achieves a degree of fame, saving the free world in very publicized fashion on at least one occasion and becoming acquainted with the President of the United States who attends Freakazoid's massive birthday celebration at the Happy Holiday Hotel, along with many other luminaries. Freakazoid possesses all the knowledge of the Internet, but at great cost to his sanity. He behaves in a very silly fashion, and often defeats villains in unorthodox ways, such as subjecting Longhorn to the seventh inning stretch, or getting Cobra Queen to say tongue twisters until she passes out Freakazoid admits that he has no idea why this worked. He also frequently breaks the fourth wall and is very aware that he is on a TV show. When Freakazoid breaks character on-set, he tends to talk in a voice similar to Jerry Lewis's "serious" voice. Although Freakazoid and Dexter share the same body and also seem to share one another's knowledge, they seem to be separate entities. For instance, Freakazoid wishes to cut Dexter out of the main title of the show, and gets annoyed when an episode spends too much time with Dexter. Still, Freakazoid sympathizes with Dexter. He likes to wrestle with Dexter's brother Duncan Douglas in revenge for Duncan's bullying of Dexter, and initially tries to get Valerie to like Dexter before deciding to be shallow and just letting Valerie kiss him as Freakazoid. When Dexter isn't Freakazoid, Freakazoid spends his time in an area of Dexter's brain called the Freak-a-Zone, where he reflects, has profound thoughts and watches Rat Patrol. Freakazoid sometimes speaks to his inner child, whom he has named Billy. Billy claims to have grown quite large. Freakazoid loves hospital water, but hates hospitals, because they store blood in refrigerators. He occasionally picks up some off-the-books additional cash by doing skywriting for the Happy Clown Cafe. His favorite ancient race is the Ancient Egyptians, partly because you can't even see the spackle in their buildings. Dexter is your average teenager who is also a total computer geek. He has a crush on Steff and attempts to date her, while she is dating his alter ego. In his free time, he enjoys reviewing the actuarial tables for his retirement and reading funny stories in binary. He is allergic to sheet cake or, more accurately, to the pan. He has an "outie" belly button. He also two sports pennants for teams called the Arrows and the Scalers.
Post a Comment. Saturday, January 26, Freakazoid! Fortunately, this show is full of it. The lead character is, of course, Freakazoid, a. Unapologetic Madman Rip-off, a. Sometimes they even talk to each other…. Season One tended to split each episode into two to five segments, which varied wildly in length and content. It could be anything from a ten second clip of Freakazoid butchering Chopsticks on piano to a ten-minute installment of The Sidekick Chronicles, in which Freakazoid is seen fighting alongside one-shot sidekicks. They also tended to showcase other characters most of whom only appeared oncesuch as the Lawn Gnomes, a Gargoyles parody in which mischievous gnomes are cursed by a wizard to turn to stone during the day. The low point of the season is probably Fatman and Boy Blubberwhich is just one long, unoriginal fat joke that comes off as even cheaper, lazier and unfunnier in light of the insanely high level of creativity that went into the rest of the series. My personal favorites are the Lord Bravery segments. Appropriately enough, it is quite possible to divide Season One itself into two segments—the first four episodes, and the rest of it. The first third or so of the season tends to toe the line between just plain weird and genuinely funny see the infamous Handman segment from the pilot, which goes on about thirty seconds too longwhich I guess is fair enough. After those four episodes, the creators really hit their stride. At this point, the show abandons the overly long gags and awkward moments in favor of goofiness and real hilarity. Of course, the addition of the absolutely delightful and gleefully self-parodying Ricardo Montalban as recurring villain Gutierrez certainly helps. And that, boys and girls, is why Ricardo Montalban is awesome. The end. On Freakazoid! But what really interests me about the villains here is their unique relationship to the hero. Before I finish up, any review of Freakazoid must also give special props to the Emmy-winning theme songwritten by Richard Stone and Tom Ruegger. It was one of just two Emmys the show would win. Just one listen to the theme should be enough to convince you that the Emmy was deserved: the melody is catchy, the lyrics are clever, and the puns are made of magical magic things. But whatever the reason, Freakazoid! Next Time: If this miniseries is supposed to explore the ethics of lobotomizing a villain, why are the heroes the only ones acting like they took an icepick to the eye? Images from Freakazoid! Labels: freakazoidtelevision. No comments:. Newer Post Older Post Home. Subscribe to: Post Comments Atom. I'd hate to see either of you actually have to walk the three feet into this frightening, mysterious new world we call a kitchen! You might get lost or attacked by the dishwasher! Round the moons of Snibia, I chuckle at thee. Beyond the Corpian Clouds, I chuckle more at thee. Revenge is a dish best served with pinto beans and muffins! Kirk, old friend